I’m Taking a Short Break
Hello readers and fellow bloggers!
I think it’s time I come clean with everyone, including myself. My mental health has not been in the best place for awhile now, but has been unbearable the last two weeks. I’ve been trying to push past it, and keep going, but I can’t anymore. You might think I’ve put too much on my plate with adding YouTube. And you might be right. Unfortunately, it’s not just the adding of YouTube into my work load…
I’ve been on a renewed health journey since late November. I hired a trainer to show me how to get myself into shape, lose those last few pounds, and get my nutrition under control. I see her twice a week, and honestly, those are my two favorite days of the week. I’ve been pushing myself to work out 5-6 days a week along with meal prepping on Sundays and Wednesdays. I’ve been keeping a detailed food log in an app as well as a notebook. I even started my own weight loss group on Facebook. I was/am doing everything I can to keep myself accountable and on track.
Is it working? I have no idea. Progress has been slow despite the several non-scale victories I have conquered. Like my new deadlift being 85 pounds (I’m super proud of that). Even with meal prep, I have slipped up many times. I feel defeated on those days, but still brush myself off and try to keep going. I’ve put a lot on my plate (no pun intended) to try my best to get healthy. I may have burned myself out trying to do so much at once.
I’m not sure how many of you know this, but I work full time as a modeler and designer. While I love my job, it comes with a bad case of burn out every now and then. It’s safe to say I’m definitely burnt out right now and need to take some necessary steps so that my job performance does not suffer. I still need to find some kind of balance here. It’s one of my biggest weaknesses if I’m being honest.
Married life is wonderful, and there’s not anything I would change besides more quality time with my husband (and maybe another vacation). We’re already working on that and are closer than ever. Without getting into too much detail, I’m also suffering the loss of a close friendship. The friendship turned out to be one sided, and this person still has no clue how much they have hurt me as they aren’t the kind of person who can take any kind of responsibility for themselves. I know attempting to talk to them about it would only end with me in more emotional pain. For now, I’m attempting to move on without causing a fuss even though it’s proving extremely difficult.
I also saw my mom in person recently after several months of just texts and phone calls. It filled me with sadness that we are so far away from my family. We’re extremely close, and 10 hours between us makes it difficult for visits. It’s been in many ways both a blessing and a curse to have moved to Missouri two and a half years ago. I have an amazing job that supports my family, I was able to cut toxic people from my life, and it enabled Alec and I to close the distance sooner than we had hoped. But I do miss my family more than anything.
All of my beloved hobbies have been suffering for the past year as well. I can’t remember the last time I actually wanted to play a video game. The first time I felt excited in over a year to sit down and play something was when I got into Spyro Reignited and when I streamed Rule of Rose. I have several games that I was initially excited for just collecting dust in my backlog. Reading has become a bit of a slog, too, when it used to make me so happy. I still have the second compilation of Fables to read, and I really enjoyed the first one very much. I keep asking myself, what’s the hold up?
I skipped a convention last weekend because of an anxiety attack I had that Wednesday. I felt terrible. I had already told friends I would be there, and I had even bought a replacement wig for my Asuna cosplay. Yet I couldn’t muster up the energy to go. I’ve got loads of YT video ideas, too, and still no energy to film and edit them. What once brought me immense joy, now feels overwhelming and stressful.
Which finally brings me to this: my blog. I love to write, but like the rest of my hobbies, my writing has hit a wall. I currently have 30 drafts of ideas and half finished pieces that I have no motivation to finish. My usual themed weekly posts have dissolved into weeks of low quality content with one or two large posts a month that I actually care about. It’s time for a change of pace and a rework of my schedule.
I’ll be taking the rest of May off from blogging to focus on my mental health. I’ll still be writing if I feel the urge, but nothing will be published on the site in the mean time. I will be uploading the rest of Rule of Rose, but then uploads will stop for YouTube as well for the rest of the month. I still have plans to film some videos I have in the works, but those will be published next month.
As for my social media, you can expect sporadic posts here or there, but nothing like the scheduled content you’re used to seeing. Feel free to reach out to me on there if you’d like. I would still like to keep in touch during this mental health break. You can find those links at the bottom of this post.
Thank you all for understanding. In order to be my best self, I have to take break. See y’all in June.
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I hope you feel better soon! 💛
Thank you so much Melissa!
Sending you hugs. I’m so sorry you’re going through this difficult time. I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you so much Iseult. <3
Congrats your health ambitions (working out and making healthier food choices) but mostly, I’m so proud of you for realizing that you need a break. And that you’re not afraid to share with us. Happy resting and it’ll be great to see you when you return.
Thank you so much Anna. I strive to be as real and as honest as I can on my blog. ❤️
I’m wishing you all the best with everything! Friend breakups are actually just as hard as the traditional romantic relationship breakups. That definitely needs more attention in stories and media as well. Take care and see you when you get back. I’m a DM away on Twitter if I can help with anything, too 🙂
Thank you so much Ellen. ❤️❤️❤️ I really appreciate you reaching out to me.
Hope you feel better soon! Let Matt and I know if you need anything! I will be thinking about you today!
Thank you Nikki!
I haven’t had a chance to visit your blog properly yet but I’m loving the vibe here. Take care of yourself comes first and foremost my dear 🙂
Thank you so much Lita! I appreciate the follows too. <3
Awww your most welcome I love your site and what your about 😆
Oh gosh thank you!<3
I totally understand your decision, you truly need to focus on yourself first and on your mental health. Sending you all my best wishes and positive vibes to you, take care Megan 😘
Thank you so much. I always appreciate your support Caroline. <3
TAKE CARE, MEGAN <3
Thank you Annie! <3
Good plan. Occasional breaks are essential to keep yourself in good working order, both from a physical and mental perspective. When your mind and body are telling you that you should slow down a bit, in my experience it’s generally a good idea to listen to them!
Hope your time away is suitably restful, and your readers/viewers will be eagerly awaiting your return when you’re good and ready 🙂
Thank you so much Pete. I really appreciate you taking the time to wish me well. ❤️
Take your time and come back with renewed vigor. I too am on a blog hiatus. 🙂
Thank you! I hope your break is going well. Sending you love. ❤️
Breaks are good and well deserved. See you in June!
Thank you! ❤️
Feel like I’m sort of joining the chorus here, but it’s seriously admirable that you’re recognizing the need for this and that you’re doing it. 🙂 Definitely take care of yourself and kudos for putting this out there!
Your support is so very appreciated. ❤️Thank you for the kind words.
Take the time to relax and focus on being happy. We’ll all be here when you want to go again. Never feel bad about putting yourself first.
Thanks so much Lynn. I definitely feel like I’m making the right decision. ❤️
Love you ❤
Love you too. ❤️
I had to take a little time off earlier in the year, my head just wasn’t into writing.
Take as much time off as you need. Taking a break to collect your thoughts does wonders.
Thank you Brandon. ❤️
*hugs* I am so sorry to hear you’ve been having a difficult time. Just remember that being able to recognise everything you talked about here and knowing the signs is a positive thing! It’s really easy to become overwhelmed and lost in the darkness, and not see the progress you have made.
You’re absolutely right. Thankfully, therapy has been a crucial part of my journey and has helped me realize when need to take a step back.
Sending love. Just know that everyone is here for you.
Thank you so much. ❤️
Take care of yourself and have a good break 😁
Thanks Scott! 🙂
It’s great that you’ve put this out there for people to read, the biggest obstacle in mental health is just talking about it, it’s easier for people to just ignore. Take your time, get back to just enjoying your hobbies again and take care!
I try to be as honest as I can around here. Sometimes it’s easier said than done! Thanks so much Duane.
I hope you feel better soon and that your mental health improves!
Thank you Kelly!
Take care of yourself and take all the time you need. You’re not the only person to get stuck a rut, I’m sure most of us have been there. Just make sure you do what’s best for you. All the best ❤️
Thanks so much Skylar-Mei. ❤️
Megan, it’s really great to see you’re taking time for yourself to avoid burnout. Your blog posts really do add to the substance of the universe, and it shows genuine talent to focus on your mental health like this. If you need anything at all during this process, let us know!
I will! Thanks Matt!
Sounds like you’re doing the right thing for yourself, and absolutely no one can fault you for that. Take care, and we’ll see you when you come back!
Thank you Audish!
I know what it’s like, I suffer from anxiety and depression and have had some really bad weeks of it, taking care of yourself first is most important.
You’re absolutely right. Hope you are in a place to take care of yourself too Stephen. ❤️
I understand if you’re going to be on a hiatus. I have a hiatus for Iridium Eye, so I get it. I hope things improve and your hiatus allows you to come back better.
Thanks you so much Ospreyshire. 😊
No problem, Megan.
Take your time and do what you need to do in order to get better. Wishing you all the best!
Thanks so much Jett!
Hope you feel better soon , Megan. See ya in june in the blogosphere. Hang in there.
Thank you! I will. <3